THE COURAGE TO HEAR "NO"

When my daughter was a toddler, she hated to be told "no". Like most toddlers, if she was denied something she would have a tantrum. But her tantrums were very dramatic, way worse than her brother's. She would burst into silent tears and stop breathing for a few seconds, then explode with a loud, piercing wail! We literally used to sit and wait for the volcanic eruption, while her brother hightailed and ran from the siren-like screams! For those of you who are raising children or have raised children you've likely seen the manifestations of telling your child no to one thing or another. It's a word that NO ONE wants to hear. If children are not disciplined to "hear" the word no, or if parents cave and give a child what they want every time, they can grow up to be spoiled...thinking they can have whatever they want, whenever they want whether or not it's good for them.

How like toddlers we can be when God tells us "no". We can inwardly revert to a screaming, crying, sniveling child. As adults, we think we know better than our heavenly Father and we definitely are not going to stand by and be denied of something we feel entitled to have. I share the story with women all the time of when my husband and I started dating. I had been "talking" to another guy and was deeply hurt when he told me he had decided to work it out with his ex. So, when my husband and I started talking (shortly after) I knew better than to plunge in like I had done the last time. I prayed and my exact words to the LORD were (because if He's LORD, then we have to obey Him) "LORD, I'm really feeling this guy, BUT if he's NOT who you have for me, then remove him from my life." And then I left myself open to hearing God say "NO". The reason I did that is because in that moment I wanted God's protection from another heartbreak, I wanted what God had for me, I trusted that God knew way better than I did. Many of us won't even pray such a prayer because God forbid, he denies us the man we've been waiting so long for, especially when we're up in age and desire to be married. God forbid, He tells us no to this job that pays more than the one we currently have when we've been struggling to get by. God forbid, He tells us no when this is the way the world is doing it and they're succeeding while we're not.

We've all heard it said that it takes courage to say "no" but let me submit to you that it also takes courage to hear "no" when your heart is longing, yearning or waiting for something. No to an opportunity you've been praying for, no to getting married and you've already missed many "cuffing" seasons, no to the children you desire. It takes courage to surrender to almighty God and trust that He knows what the future holds and what's best for His children. It takes courage to believe that the denial is going to work out in your favor when you can obviously see the benefits of it in the present. It takes courage to pray for something and hear God say no to the request! But when we don't heed the no, we end up making a mess of things! Ask Eve! (Genesis 3).

Around the end of 1999/2000 I interviewed for a job with Deloitte & Touche, a prestigious company that was located in one of the World Trade Center towers, way up high on one of the top floors. It was a dream job...great salary and excellent benefits! I wanted to leave the company where I was, and this would be a promotion so I prayed hard that God would open the door for me to get this position. I wanted that job with every fiber of my being, so I was devastated, angry and sad when I learned that I was not selected for the position! In fact, I had an inner meltdown! But guess who fell on her face and thanked God, with tears in her eyes, for that "no" on September 11, 2001? ME!! What we, like the tantrum-having toddler, lose sight of (or perhaps we forget) is that GOD SAVES US IN THE NOS! GOD PROTECTS US IN THE NOS! GOD PROVIDES FOR US IN THE NOS! So, reader, remember that God (being the ultimate parent) says no to us for our wellbeing, just like we do for our own children. Trust His "NO".

~Dania Roberts