THROW THEM OVERBOARD!

I have never been one to discard people. In relationships I'm the person that will hold out for the best. I'm the one that will overlook character flaws and keep trusting and believing that things will eventually get better even if the situation doesn't really appear to be. I will press on even if the relationship becomes one sided and no longer serves me. It's been proven many times in my life. I was raised this way. You simply do not cast people aside or out, especially family. You hang in there even if they've been abusive, mean, insufferable or disloyal. Now to a degree, I have adhered to this. Everyone has limitations but for the most part I generally will try to hold on to and repair broken relationships in my life. That was the immature me. The mature me has a completely different take and outlook on relationships and the seasons that bring people in and out of my life.

We all know the account of Jonah...he was swallowed up by a big fish because he was running from God's command to go to Nineveh. That part we remember well. But I have never heard this talked about from the perspective of the sailors who's boat he got on. After reading this account, I began to view relationships in a completely different way. What does the account of Jonah have to do with relationships, you ask? Let me explain. In a society where, we're often instructed to let people go, remove, replace and adjust people in our circles I always found it extremely hard to do that. I'm LOYAL! I don't throw people away. I don't let people go. It's not ok to do that. Or is it? Then God revealed this truth to me. SOMETIMES you have to throw people overboard. Get them off your boat (i.e. life) otherwise they will cause a storm in your life and inhibit you from getting to your destination. Let's take a look...

In the book of Jonah chapter 1, we find the familiar story of his disobedience and how he boards a ship to Tarshish (the opposite direction) to avoid his God given assignment. Read it at your leisure. But there were three particular things that the Holy Spirit showed me:

1. Jonah boards the ship legitimately. He purchases a ticket and is given legal access.

Many times, we give people legal access to our boat (life). Sometimes we let them in knowing that they are not in good standing with God. Unbelievers, people who are backslidden (or not), etc. AND they will be using us to hitch a ride and nothing more. Just like Jonah had no interest or care for what these men were doing and how he would impact them, they won't care for us either. They just need to get somewhere or need something and WE'RE the ticket!

2. The fact that they gave Jonah access to their boat caused a raging storm. As soon as he steps on the boat the Lord sends a powerful wind which threatens to break up the ship. The sailors are frantic! They begin to pray to their gods and throw their precious cargo (their livelihood) overboard to lighten the ship! Meanwhile Jonah has the nerve to be below deck sleeping! Sound familiar?? There will be people in our lives that will cause storms. They will upset us, not have our best interest at heart and bring turmoil to our emotional, mental, spiritual and financial well-being. They will cause us to be distracted and unfocused and the whole time our lives are in a frenzy, they will be comfortable enough to take a metaphoric nap! In other words, while our lives have been turned upside down, they're "chillin"!

3. Lastly, when the sailors realize that Jonah is responsible for the storm, they ask him what should we do to you to stop the storm?" (vs.11). Now this might seem like a ridiculous question but isn't that what we do? When we realize that someone in our lives is wreaking literal havoc, instead of finding a way to rid ourselves of them we want to figure out how and why and what. Jonah tells them to throw him overboard and the storm will stop! Simple, right?! However, instead of tossing him over they decide they're going to row even harder to keep him on board and try to make it to their destination! And that's after having already lost so much! Classic! And we do the same with the Jonahs in our lives. We go to therapy, spiritual counseling, call up trusted friends, talk to this one and that one to figure out how we can keep this person aboard and still keep going. A metaphoric rowing! The truth of the matter is the same way the sailors realized they weren't going to get anywhere with Jonah still on that ship, we won't either. Jonah could've just jumped into the sea but in his selfishness, he basically said, "I'm not leaving, you're gonna have to throw me off!" So, they toss him into the sea! WHY?? Because the same way WE let them in, WE have to make the decision to toss them out! Period. They won't go as long as we let them stay.

Now let me be clear...God doesn't want us doing this to people regularly or handling every relational infraction in this manner. Some relationships are worth salvaging and God loves reconciliation. Discernment is the key! But I am now assured that I don't have to tolerate upsets and storms in my life from everyone. In all wisdom, I can decide to "throw them overboard!" My well-being (and yours) depends on it!

~Dania Roberts